On February 22, 2018 I had officially been a nurse for three years. I am now going on my fourth year. I have worked in a Medical Cardiac ICU in Washington, DC, a mixed intensive care unit and cardiac care unit in Ventura, CA, a a medical cardiac ICU in Charlotte, NC, and currently have begun my journey as a cardiac device nurse (interrogate pacemakers) in Charlotte, NC. As you can tell, I have moved around a lot and worked in a lot of different types of units since receiving my nursing license. I am, in fact, licensed in four states due to all of my moving, but I truly feel that because of this, I have basically been a first year nurse three, going on four, different times. While, this may not be 100% accurate, each time I move it feels like I am a brand new nurse all over again.
As a result, with numerous future RNs following me, and even some seasoned ones, I thought I would share my insights on the first year of nursing because I truly feel that no one really prepares you for what is to come and I feel like these experiences are so clearly etched in my memory, it would be unjust not to share them.
So, you just got the news that you passed your NCELX. Congratulations! You have passed the final step to becoming a nurse. Go buy yourself something nice (I bought UGG boots with bows on the back) and have a drink because now is when shit gets real and you have ZERO clue.
Fast forward.
You are now sitting in an auditorium or classroom listening to someone (you don’t remember the name and probably never will) talk about restraints (hospital policy to discuss in orientation). You have on your brand new scrubs, your badge is pinned to your jacket with a brand new badge holder you ordered from Etsy, and you are ready to go, engraved stethoscope and all. This is it. This is when your life begins. Excitement fills the air.
Fast Forward.
First day on the unit at 0645. You clock in. Wow. Here we go. You meet your preceptor (they are one of two things – they are either a bitch or sweet as pie, pray you get the sweet as pie, although both can teach you a lot of valuable lessons). You follow suit. They show you around, you meet some other nurses on the unit, all of which you file in the back of your mind as either possible friend, unsure, or hell no, and you are ready to save some lives!
Fast forward.
1100 You see an emergency intubation and stand there in awe. This is what you came here to do!
Fast forward.
1500 Holy fudgesicles you are starved! But it’s all good because you are a nurse and got to see some really cool stuff and you, my friend, are going to save some lives.
Fast Forward.
2100 You are back tomorrow. Your legs are achey and you aren’t sure why, but you are really going to love this.
Fast Forward.
You work three in a row because your preceptor likes to works threes. Didn’t do much except pass a few meds and do a few assessments. Your preceptor tells you next week, the fun will start. Your whole body hurts and you are worried you are going to go into kidney failure. Your brain aches, but it’s still great because you are a NURSE. You also quickly realize twelves suck.
Fast Forward.
Three weeks in. What the hell where you thinking? You can’t even prime a line. Your preceptor yelled at you today because you got the bitch one and couldn’t find the EKG electrodes (why would they place them there?!?), you made a med error and your patient threw their poop on you. Literally. Walk in, poop flung. Done. Is anyone else feeling like this? Is this just me. I have no clue what I’m doing. I saw someone die yesterday, I can’t get my charting right, and I swear my preceptor hates me.
These are all normal thoughts. You will experience these thoughts because you realize how little nursing school prepared you for this battle field you enter into each day. It is all normal. You will come out at the top. And you will probably be in this phase of feeling like an utter failure (despite straight A’s in school!) for a couple of months. That’s right. A couple of months if you are lucky. So may be in this phase through the entirety of orientation. It is 100% normal, you are not alone, and it sucks horribly. You didn’t make the wrong decision, I promise.
Fast Forward.
You get moved from days to nights. Your world as you know it flips on it’s head. How do people do this? People weren’t made to be awake at night.
Fast Forward.
You have two weeks left on orientation. You have one of the sickest patients on the unit and you feel like a BOSSSSSS. You are hanging meds, drawing labs, assessing like the basses you always knew you would. You are going to be fineeeeee. You got this.
Fast Forward.
Four weeks off of orientation. Time for the real fun. You have an easy patient and are open to admit (they typically don’t make a new nurse open because you never know what type of patient is going to come in). You get your admission and they are sick as snot. You have to travel with them three times that day. There are three other nurses on the unit helping you, but your head is spinning because you can’t even look over your orders because everything is moving so quickly. You leave that day around 2100 feeling defeated. You cry on your way home. It’s not the first time and it won’t be the last. You are back tomorrow.
Fast Forward.
9 months in. The next set of new grads are coming on. Hah! Thank goodness you aren’t them! Man, they don’t even know what’s coming. You and your best friend on the unit laugh at each other thinking back to your first day on the unit and begin to share your stories with your comatose patient in Bed 11 who has been there for a month, while you bathe him together.
Fast Forward.
1 year. How has it been a year? Time really does fly. You know where everything is at, you can handle some of the sickest patients. You still have a ton to learn, but you are happy where you are at. There has been some bad days. There has been some good days. But, you made it this far. We will see what comes next year.
xoxo,
Melissa
