As some of you may know via my Instagram, I was currently in DC and Philly helping a dear friend through life’s ups and downs. She has recently been going through a a very traumatic break-up that involved cheating. Obviously, this has been a very devastating situation for my friend and my heart aches to watch her go through something so difficult. But, as I have learned (youngest of four girls), breakups happen, which make life seem like its coming to an end, and then, something very beautiful happens…the beginning of a new adventure…the adventure of love.
As someone who has gone through breakups myself, seen my sisters go through numerous traumatic breakups, and then watch dear friends go through the same thing, I know a thing or two about what this process is all about. I know how badly it sucks, I know how badly your heart hurts, and I know how badly you want to wish it all away, as if it was a bad dream. I know the tears, I know how nighttime is the worst, and I know how badly you want to text or call that person you once relied upon so deeply. The reality is, however, this chapter in your life is coming to an end, and it is now time to accept what it taught us, and embrace this new blessing you have before you.
My sister Stephanie (she’s the oldest), gave me some really beautiful advice about breakups. She explained to me that no matter how hard it is, the reality of the situation is that you know it is the right thing. You know you weren’t supposed to be with each other, but you stick it out, because you love them. She reiterated that the breakup doesn’t change the feelings you had for that person, nor the feelings they had for you, and that ultimately it is because of that love, that you let them go. She also reminded me though, that there are different types of love and that is where the adventure begins.
For example, my first boyfriend and I were together for four years. Did I love him? Absolutely. Did he love me? I like to think so. However, the love I have for my husband is SO different from that love that I had in my first relationship. I don’t know how to explain it exactly, but the feelings are so much stronger and purer. The bond and connection we have is like nothing else, and that my friends, is the kind of love we all deserve.
A breakup may seem like the world is ending, and for some time, it is. But once you get through that hump, you are able to realize that you are now set free to find what you truly deserve and find who you really are without a man or women in your life. Take this time to discover your core self and remember that you deserve greatness. You deserve earth-shattering, stomach-flipping, happy-go-lucky, pure love, and I truly believe everyone in this world is meant to find that. I think it is so easy for us to settle because we can’t imagine what life would be like without that person or we feel that this is all there is, but I promise you, you will survive and there probably is better. And I also promise, the person you find yourself becoming is far greater than the person you were allowing yourself to be in your relationship.
So remember, this is not the end. It is just the beginning.
Here are some amazing tips to deal with breakups:
- Take everything that reminds you of that person and put it in a bag/box, then give it to a friend to hold onto, until you are ready to see it.
- Eliminate all communication with that person for at least 30-60 days. Take time to figure out what you want, what you need, and what you deserve. This time also allows you to realize, you CAN be alone, and the world isn’t ending.
- Take up some hobbies. Find out what you love doing and do it. Be entirely dedicated to YOU.
- Stay busy. Especially in the beginning. Plan your days out, so you are constantly in motion.
- Never say no to a date. You never know who you might meet.
- Start working out. Nothings better than a killer revenge body. Plus working out gives you endorphins, allows you to process, and boosts self-esteem.
- Don’t analyze what you did wrong…unless you cheated…most of the time it is not something you did or said, it is more you two were not meant to be.
- Get with your girlfriends and cut out a bunch of inspirational quotes/pictures from magazines and tape them to your mirror.
- Unfollow on all social media and do not search their accounts. Seeing them, just continues to reopen the wound.
I hope this helps someone and I am always here to help in any way I can!