Top Lush Keyhole Tank $35 / Jeans Jessica Simpson Kiss me Destructed Skinny Jeans $42.99 / Booties Vince Camuto Fileana Split Shaft Bootie in French Taupe Suede $149.95 / Necklace Stella & Dot Astor Sparkle Strand $59
I can’t believe it is already Wednesday! Anyone else feel like the first half of this week has just flown by? I got back from my travels on Monday and cannot wait to share an inspired post with you that I think we can all relate to…however…you’ll have to wait until Friday 🙂 In the meantime, I wanted to get real about something else I have recently struggled with….
As you all know, I am new to the whole blog scene. I decided to take this adventure on after reading the book “You are a Badass” by Jen Sincero. I don’t know what it was about the book, but it was definitely a call to action for me and I felt like I needed to create something new (a new platform, interest, passion, etc.) in my life. The issue, however, was finding what exactly I wanted that “new” thing to look like. It took reflection on my passions and interests, internalization of dreams I had fantasized about for years, and an interesting conversation with a friend, that ultimately led me to where I am right now. Although I am so happy and excited about this adventure, there are always the doubts and fears you present yourself with when taking on the unknown: am I good enough? Am I interesting enough? Why would anyone care about what I have to say?
All of these questions twirled in my head (and still do from time to time) but according to Sincero, those thoughts are what keep us from fulfilling our dreams, and ultimately fufilling our destinies. She asks that instead of epitomizing negative self-talk, we reinforce positivity –> I AM good enough. I AM interesting enough. There are people out there (somewhere) that care what I have to say. It is this positive reinforcement that develops our goals and dreams into reality.
This issue of self-doubt and self-worth, is what brings me to today’s photos.
Initially when I saw these photos, I immediately scrutinized myself. I felt as if my legs were too fat, my arms looked too muscular, and the outfit was just all around “not right.” I remember showing them to a friend saying, “Look at my legs. They look like two sausage casings in those jeans and I can’t believe how bulky my arms and shoulders look.” I continued to disappoint myself by going back to some of my favorite accounts and playing the comparison game. I remember wishing my legs and arms looked just like theirs and thinking the clothes looked so perfect on them.
Fast forward few weeks later…
I still had not shared the photos with my Instagram and blog community, but I had shown my sisters and some of my closest friends. I always liked to ask them what their favorite looks were out of the group and it was interesting to hear their responses –> most often than not, they would say one of their favorite looks was the black top with the jeans. I kept thinking, they were just trying to be nice. After multiple people kept coming back with the same response, I felt, perhaps, there had to be more to it than what I was seeing. I spoke to one of my sisters and told her the situation and how disappointed I was with the way I looked in those pictures. I explained how I wished I could be a little more skinny, especially my legs. Lucky for me, my sisters are amazing and always know how to pull me back into reality and support me in the best way possible. After explaining my feelings, my sister continued to reiterate how much she loved the look, but also pointed out what I now find so crucial in my brand. She emphasized that my body size was exactly what made me different from all of the other bloggers and what would ultimately set me apart from everyone else.
It all made sense.
I am not a size 2 and x-small and neither are most women. I am size 4-6 and typically where a medium. Not all skinny jeans look great on me and most flowy tops make me look pregnant. I am not perfectly on trend with everything because I think a lot of trends are ridiculous (cue cotton balls on EVERYTHING this season). This is what makes me different from most bloggers, but is also what makes me just like all of you.
Through this platform I hope to help women, just like me, style their outfits with ease. Find tops, bottoms, and everything in between, that can be transitional pieces (i.e. worn more than once, in multiple different ways) without breaking the bank. Although I do love a nice pair of jeans or a gorgeous handbag, those things aren’t necessary for creating effortless, chic, classic style. Hopefully I can help you find your way through two-pieces and cutoffs, and meet somewhere in the middle where you don’t look like a college freshman, but aren’t honing your inner 50 year-old either (at least not yet haha). We are all just women, wanting to look cute, without breaking the bank. Is that too much to ask?
The answer is, no.
We all have insecurities, self-doubt, and negative self talk. None of us are perfect, and I hope you realize I am not trying to be. I get insecure and uneasy just like the rest of you. Hopefully, though, we can take a note from Jen and remember that our beliefs in ourselves (good or bad) are translated into the universe. So believe in strength, believe in your beauty, and believe in your self-worth.
All those doubts you have are normal. Especially when starting something new. You look real. And people want real. Keep up the good vibes you send and awesome photos!
Thank you so much for you positive feedback! I truly appreciate it 🙂
You are beautiful and your body is strong. Those arms help you lift sick people out of bed and those legs carry you on 12-hour+ shifts. You are a healer and your body helps you accomplish that. Also, you show that a hot body isn’t something you have to be born with but can be accomplished by working out and feeding your body right.
Love what you said. Thank you so much and you have no idea what it means to me. Love you Ongey!